Monday, December 7, 2009

They said it!

Hi folks. You should maybe, probably, kind of know something. I’m kind of going through some "stuff" that takes far too long to explain but because of this “stuff” I’m kind of land-locked and basically only able to use one hand. As such you might be seeing a few more superfluous posts from me than usual as I attempt to keep myself from losing my mind from boredom AND teach myself how to type with just my left hand. What you’ll see below is one such superfluous exercise.

The last decade brought us some great movies with some great scripts and those great scripts brought us some pretty great lines. To celebrate the best of the wordsmiths of the last decade and the words that spewed forth from them I’ve just listed SOME of my favorites. For an added bonus I’ve failed to list the movies from which these quotes originated so you can have all sorts of fun – or whatever – guessing them if you get bored at work. If you want post your guesses in the comments section and I’ll post the answers in a few days. Enjoy!

And-and I look at you, and I... and I'm home. Please... I don't want that to go away.

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Don't forget your guns. We don't want any lyme disease popping out at us.

My friends. You bow to no-one.

Now, take this guy: armed robbery, double homicide. Got a taste for the theatrical, like you. Leaves a calling card.

I aim to misbehave.

If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college.

Sergeant Butterman, the little hand says it's time to rock and roll!

You picked the wrong house, bub.

There is no peace at the end of this.

Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race.

I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!

Damn! We're in a tight spot!

If you were in your office right now we'd be having this conversation face-to-face.

Why is the rum gone?

You don't get it, do you? This isn't "good cop, bad cop." This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.

Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us in our seats. And wait till you're sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles, see if you're so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence.

C'mon Roy, you can do it! Ah, no you can't, he's gonna kill ya.

You know, Dan Marino should definitely buy this car. Well, not this one, 'cause I'm gonna f&#k this one up. But he should definitely get one just like it.

You're good. You're very good. My lords, my ladies, and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion! Today... today, you find yourselves equals. For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle. In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ulllrrrich von Lichtenstein! Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

I am a golden god!

I said, I said I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"!

Even a big bitch cockroach like you should know... never, but never, f&#k with the King.

In the old days if an agent did something that embarrassing he'd have a good sense to defect. God, I miss the Cold War.

But Affleck was the bomb in "Phantoms".

Okay. But dogs CAN look up!

Swing away Merrill. Merrill... swing away.

Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly.

I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible.

You're born, you take s#!t. You get out in the world, you take more s#!t. You climb a little higher, you take less s#!t. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what s#!t even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake son.

I have this condition.

Can't you people see there are guns here?

I'm Shiva, the God of death.

This is Tom Hanks saying if you see me in person, please, leave me be.

Mr. Musgrave, please don't interrupt me when I'm asking rhetorical questions.

Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the biggest Ella Fitzgerald ever.

They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional...

A shepherd must tend his flock. And at times... fight off the wolves.

I don't know what her problem is. She takes off her shirt to do a voice-over. What's her problem? The country could draw her breasts from memory.

Go get 'em, tiger.

Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies.

I don't read the script. The script reads me.

What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?

I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.

I’m one stomach flu away from my ideal weight.

2 comments:

Megan said...

I know what most of those are, but I feel like if I lay them out I would be cheating...

Senor Granto said...

It's not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me